he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
