Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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