Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
