Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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