so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
