Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
