oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I pour the whiskey from now on
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
