bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
