i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
