No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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