turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
