stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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