i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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