Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
