That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
