oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he fucked my hip out of place.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
