I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
