She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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