i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
