I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
