The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
