pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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