we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
