He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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