it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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