woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
