oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
