So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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