Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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