I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
