____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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