Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
