Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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