Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
