i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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