I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize