Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
