and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
