sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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