elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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