I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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