I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
