I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i love accidental penises.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
