Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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