U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this just has baby written all over it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
