I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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