Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
