Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
