a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
