Small penises have feelings too.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
