that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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