woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
