Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
