I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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