The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
