I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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