She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
