its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
