Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
