I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
