I swear she didn't look like that last week.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
