I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My hand turned me down
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
