After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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