The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
