I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
